She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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