He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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