Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
