..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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