I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm both gender and math confused
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
