M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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