She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
