I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
