How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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