She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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