So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
