the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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