my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
