i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
