Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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