dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
