arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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