Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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