I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize