i don't like sucking hair
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
