I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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