So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
