All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I could fuck to npr.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
