I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm too high and old for this...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
