You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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