we're blogging at a bar
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
