Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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