we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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