I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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