Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
