Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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