I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize