I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize