i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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