Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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