Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
