I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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