I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
