I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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