That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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