Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
sex in a hospital.. check
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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