...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
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you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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