When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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