I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so let's talk penis.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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