Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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