We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
