please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
