My nipple is on Facebook.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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