check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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