dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
