and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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