My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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