The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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