You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
