I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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