return my video game
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Randomize
