there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
