Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
