just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize