yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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