3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
