Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
