...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
