we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
