Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
