Umm I'm too high to move.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
